Kurrent and Komplete Kitchen

We have lived in our house for just over 6 years.  When we moved in, there was a lot of work to be done.  The entire house was covered in old, nasty wall-paper and stained carpet.  The first thing we did was assess what we could live with, what we had to get rid of right away, and what we could afford.  We got rid of all the wall-coverings and painted, then slowly worked on everything else.  Now it's six years later and we're still working on everything else.  But that's because we do what we can when we have not only the time, but also the money.  And we make everything else work until we can work on it.

The kitchen probably needed the most work.  We had to buy a refrigerator but the rest of the appliances were here.  They were functional, but nothing to look at, and nothing that had any bells or whistles.  The oven was black with a white top, the dishwasher was white, and we had bought a black fridge with the intention of going all black in the kitchen someday.  The appliances worked most of the time and, in the case of the stove, was original to the house when built in 1979.  The floor was old, worn linoleum that showed the perfect triangle path from sink to fridge to stove (and where the 4 chairs had been at the table for several years).



First thing we replaced?  The floor.  It was so old and scarred and just felt beyond dirty to me because it was also pitted.  Yuck.  Then we replaced the stove.  I got a beautiful flat cooktop and an oven that was considerably larger than the old one.  Not only that, but all the burners work on the new stove!  The next thing to be replaced was the dishwasher.  The old one didn't get our dishes clean and was horrendously loud.   In the meantime our microwave also died and was replaced with a nice, new and sleek model.  All that was left was the range hood.  The disgusting, grease-laden, impossible to get clean, white, loud and inefficient range hood. (and I don't know how many times I gouged my forehead on those sharp corners!)

And here's the new range hood, my new love...

Take a look at that beauty!  Not only does my kitchen now look consistent and current, but it's also quiet!  The old fan was so loud that I couldn't hear conversations at the kitchen table if I was cooking.  And the fan was so permanently gross and greasy that I had to always use it on high for it to be effective--and that's using the term mildly.  It did the bare minimum of sucking out the steam and stank from my cooking.  But this new one...oh it works so great and so quiet and looks so good.  And the filters can go in my dishwasher!!  How awesome is that?  My old filters I would soak in hot, soapy water for an hour and then scrub with an old toothbrush--all to get them as clean as possible which was about 25% clean.  Ugh.  So happy to see him gone!! 

See how much of a face-lift our kitchen has had?  We replaced the refrigerator, oven, dishwasher, microwave, floor, and 2 light fixtures (on the ceiling and above the sink).  We removed some wall-paper, painted, added vinyl wall lettering, and took the doors off the peninsula cupboards.  Now to finish removing the old wall-paper, get new counter-tops, put up a back-splash, replace the door/drawer pulls...

The girls planted sunflowers at Sunday school and are so excited they are growing! 

Tell me, how many of you have a fridge like mine?  I know they say that a clean fridge door can make the room seem bigger and cleaner, but I have 3 kids and do daycare.  I will not get rid of the ABC magnets that keep them occupied while I cook.  And my HUGE dry-erase calendar? I live and breathe by that thing.

Funny Money

One thing that I haven't shared about very much is the fact that the Full Man Grown has been laid off of work for a long time.  Like over a year and a half.  He is a carpenter and with the current economy, no one is building much of anything.  Businesses are waiting to see how things pan out and banks aren't loaning much money.   What does that say for the carpenters out there?  Trouble.

Full Man Grown had been working for a company for several years and making great money.  We don't have any credit cards and live within our means, but we were living near the top end of our means.  Even though we didn't have brand-new vehicles or the latest electronic devices, we did spend a lot of money eating out or going to events like concerts, plays, etc.  Then his company started laying off people.  At first it was just a few, then more and more.  They went from over 300 carpenters (it was a huge company) to 45 in less than six months.  Let me tell you, every Friday that he came home and hadn't been told not to come back, we breathed a huge sigh of relief.  Then his day came.  He was laid off one Friday and only two weeks later the company closed their doors.  Ouch.

We were scared of what was going to happen to our family.  Since I stay home and do daycare part-time, my income was hardly enough to support our family.  Full Man Grown's unemployment was decent, but not what we were used to and not guaranteed for a long period of time.  He was able to find various things to supplement, but it was hard.  Somehow, we made it.  At times, it was really hard and we were playing the "If I pay this now, this other one can wait up to a week before they charge us a late fee" game more often than I liked.  But somehow, we always had enough.  Things would look really dire, and we'd get a reimbursement check from our insurance company or someone else for an overpayment.  I knew without a doubt that God was watching over and providing for us.

Thankfully, FMG is back to work again with a new company.  But you know what?  We haven't gone back to our old habits.  I still act as though we're on the brink of our finances and buy only what we need, with just a small number of wants sprinkled in.  We pay our bills and put everything else into savings or apply them as an extra payment on other bills.  Never again will we put ourselves into the position we were in with his lay-off.  Here are some of the things we do:

1)  We don't have a credit card.  Unfortunately, we are still paying off an old credit card from when we were first married, FMG was working a low-pay job, I was finishing college and we had a newborn baby.  We had to rely on it more than we wanted but after I finished school and FMG became a journeyman carpenter, we closed the account.  It's almost paid off now, and we can't wait for that money to be freed up!

2) We spoke with our accountant to figure out what we should claim on FMG's taxes with his job.  If you file 0 dependents, the maximum amount of taxes will be taken out of your check each week.  The more you claim, the smaller your deducted taxes and more you'll take home with each check.  For our family and situation, she suggested a certain number to claim that should get us more in each paycheck but result in a small (think $1000 or so) refund each spring.  We decided that we wanted to get a bit larger refund but still not have it be outrageous, so we claimed just less than what she recommended.

3) We follow some of Dave Ramsey's basic rules and suggestions for cutting down on our debt and obligations.  The main one we use is paying the minimum payments on each bill, but applying as much extra as possible to the lowest total bill.  In our case, it was my student loan, which we paid off recently--before FMG was back to work full time.  Now we're applying what we were paying on that account each month to finish off that pesky credit card from several years ago.  When we're done with that, we will be debt free except for our mortgage, which we'll work on paying off in the same fashion.

4) We have a savings account that we automatically contribute to with each paycheck.  FMG gets paid on Wednesdays, so I have it set up to transfer money each Thursday to our savings.  Since it's automatic and right after each paycheck, I don't really notice the difference or that it's missing.  But if I need it, I can transfer back to the checking in a pinch.

5) We run all major--think over $50--purchases past each other before we make them, unless it's something like groceries and gas.  If it's a part for the vehicle, a new pair of shoes for each kid, or a replacement vacuum cleaner, it's ran past the other so we are both aware of where our money is going and when.  Plus, if you have to hash it out, sometimes you realize it's something you don't necessarily need, thus keeping spontaneous purchases to a minimum.

6) Anything above and beyond our normal weekly income is either put into savings, used for fun activities, or ear-marked and saved for a bigger purchase.  Last week I watched two of my daycare kids an extra day than normal.  That money went to eating out on Friday night because I just didn't feel like cooking.  FMG sometimes will get a small side-job here or there, and that money will go to savings.  One thing we're saving up for?  A new vent hood for my stove since the 30 year old one we have now is on it's last leg.  (I cannot wait, as it's the only appliance we haven't replaced in the kitchen but it's coming up very soon!)

7) We do not have car loans.  Now, in reading that, you may think that we drive old clunkers.  That's somewhat true, but not completely.  FMG commutes 1.5 hours to work each day and drives an old Honda Accord that gets 30+ mpg.  We paid cash for it after saving up the money.  We also own a Dodge Durango that is 12 years old.  We bought it when we were first married and it was a wonderful vehicle to us, giving us plenty of room for our growing family.  The loan has been long paid off but we continue to drive it when we need to.  It's no longer in the best shape and isn't our family vehicle anymore, but it still works for various needs or as an extra vehicle that will fit everyone in a pinch.  Our other vehicle is a newer Dodge truck with 4 doors and lots of bells and whistles.  This is our family vehicle and we paid for most of it with cash and the rest with a loan from a good family friend who owns his own business.  FMG has worked off the loan (which was about $5000) in just under a year.

8) I talked to our utilities and asked about discounts or ways to save on our bill.  We have satellite tv and receive lots of mailings from another company that advertised for lower prices.  I called our current company and told them I was thinking of switching and asked what they could do to keep me.  Their response?  They took $20 off each bill for the next 12 months with no contract obligation and no other changes to our service.  When the year is up in a few months, I'll revisit my options.  We bundled our phone services and internet to save over $30 a month. 

Now I know we aren't perfect and still have a long way to go when it comes to managing our finances.  But right now, things are going well and we're working towards our goals in a consistent, steady manner.  Hopefully some of this has inspired one of you to work on your finances and realize that while it does take some sacrifice and discipline, it's not impossible to get on top of your money while still having fun and living life, as well.

Sometimes Life Gets in the Way

Have you ever realized that sometimes, life gets in the way of all the things we want to do?  I want to be a good and consistent blogger.  I enjoy writing and hope that my writing can help just one person.  If so, then it's all worth it. 

But sometimes, that Life thing gets in the way.  These last few weeks, life has been both my joy and my irritation.  I have attended school events, parties, practices for the church musical, dinners, visited with friends from out of town and all other fun things that take up time.  But I've also been doing a lot of laundry, dishes, spring cleaning, organizing, and other not-so-fun things that have taken my time.  And one thing that hasn't taken much time?  Blogging.  For that I apologize.  But I also know that since those who do read this blog are also moms and wives, you all understand.  You know how life can get crazy and leave you so little time that when you do get 5 minutes, the last thing you want to do is sit at the computer and think.  Again.

Thankfully, my mind is feeling refreshed after the blogging break.  I have all sorts of ideas in my head and stories to share.  Hopefully, I can get back in the swing of things and get cracking here again.  I hope you'll still stick with me and if you feel so moved, share me with your friends and family.  I promise to have some good things coming up very soon.  Until then...

We're Back in Action

We have gone on vacation and I'm happy to say, we all made it home in one piece.  It was our first time taking the kids on an airplane or away from home for more than 3 days.  Of course, we also had my parents, my sister, my in-laws and my sister-in-law to help out...but still.  As parents, we still did the majority of things for and with the girls even though we had other adults to help us out.  I guess once you're in the groove, it's hard to get out.

We went to Florida and had a wonderful time!  We went to the 4 Disney parks--Animal Kingdom, Epcot, Hollywood Studios and Magic Kingdom (twice).  We also went to the beach on our first and last days there, with the last day including watching Space Shuttle Discovery launch while laying on our blanket on the beach. 

The girls loved being with the whole family together.  They loved their first trip to the ocean and playing at the beach.  They loved the parks and all they had to offer.  They loved meeting all the characters.  They loved swimming in an outdoor pool in February (such a treat to us northerners!)  They loved buying souvenirs with their own money.  They loved writing in their journals each night about the day's activities. 

Full Man Grown and I loved seeing their smiles and hearing their squeals of delight with each new discovery or sighting or experience.  We loved that Scrat was shaking because she was so excited to meet her favorite princess, Belle.  We loved that Picasso continued in her true dare-devil, thrill-seeker form and liked all the roller coasters best.  We loved that Brainiac read each sign and plaque and tried to learn all she could while at the various parks.  We loved that the girls repeatedly thanked all of us for such a great time and vacation.  We loved that both of our families were together for the first time in years.  We loved that while basking in the 80s and sunshine, we missed a 12" snowstorm here at home.

Vacation was wonderful.  We all loved it.  We can't wait to do it again.

The Full Man Grown

I thought I'd introduce you all to my partner in crime--The Full Man Grown.  I would actually introduce you with pictures and such, but he doesn't really know that he wants his face on here (even with my so-far limited readers)  I respect that, but he didn't say anything about the rest of him.  Evil, I know.  In the pic below, he's wearing a pink shirt because all the guys we were camping with were--it's kind of an inside joke.  And that's one of his loyal sidekicks, our dog Sunny.

So there he is.  He's a pretty good-looking chunk of man-flesh, if I do say so myself.  We've been together for a long time--since high school--but he's one of those guys that gets more and more attractive with age.  He's losing his hair, but that's okay because I like his head shaved and bald better.  He has naturally straight teeth (one of the things I don't like him for) and the most amazing dimples.  His eyes are like chocolate and always have a twinkle in them because he's very seldom serious for long.  He's 6'2" and almost solid muscle from growing up on a farm and continuing to still work on the farm from time to time and have a career as a carpenter.  I don't think he's ever lifted weights to build up muscle or for the "sport" of it, but he has the naturally built muscle that's so much more attractive.   

Now, I don't want you to think that I'm all shallow and only into the FMG for his looks.  While I do enjoy looking at him, it's the last thing I really care about.  He's honestly the perfect guy for me.  He is the big tough guy who is sexy and a little scary at the same time, but inside he's the biggest marshmallow and sweetest man.  He cried at our wedding when he saw me coming down the aisle.  He cried so hard at Brainiac's birth that our family thought something was wrong (he cried for Picaso and Scrat, too).  He cried the first time he heard each of the girls sing in front of the church.   But he's incredibly strong.  He can take so much and is my solid rock whenever I need him.  He works hard so that I can stay home with our girls.  He gives me my time away to re-energize when I need it.  He's just as comfortable with a My Little Pony as he is with his hammer or tractor.  He has literally carried our family both physically and mentally for years.  He is who the song "Tough Little Boys" by Gary Allan was written about.

The Full Man Grown also has a crazy sense of humor that fits mine perfectly.  We laugh all the time about things most people would think ridiculous or just plain strange.  We are that couple that finishes each other's sentences, starts saying the same think at the same time, will think up the same plans without consulting with one another.  We honestly have mostly the same interests--we love being outside, we love time with family, we love sports, we love animals, we hunt, we camp, we fish.  He doesn't scrapbook, and I don't work on engines, but we talk with each other about these activities.  We make an effort to know.

We also fight.  Like the Kenny Chesney song, "I Lost It", says--No one can make me smile or drive me mad like (s)he does.  Oh, there are days I want to strangle him and I know he feels the same about me.  We have had some doozy fights and not talked for a day.  We struggle to sleep as far from one another in the bed as possible and we say as little as we can to each other until it blows up again and we settle it the next day.  We also have the same little squabbles that everyone does--I get mad because he didn't take out the garbage, he gets mad because I let it pile up.  We vent, we don't talk for an hour, and we get over it.  We are both far from perfect and we know it and sometimes we let each other know it, too.  But thankfully, these fights don't identify us.  

Even when I want to boot him in the butt, I couldn't imagine not having the Full Man Grown in my life.  He is my sun and my rain, my light and my dark.  He balances me perfectly, puts up with me, and makes me who I am.  I am a much better person with him in my life.  I hope that you all have that person that you want to simultaneously strangle, kiss and laugh with.  Will you tell me about that person in the comments? 

Red and Green

No, this post isn't revisiting Christmas.  I promise.  But I am going to talk about the two typical Christmas colors--red and green.  As a little side note, red is my favorite color, and green is Full Man Grown's favorite color.  But I'm not really going to talk about that either.

Today is Wear Red Day.  It's a day dedicated to wearing red to bring attention to women's heart health.  Heart disease in women is a major killer, but most people focus on illnesses like breast cancer or other cancers.  These causes are very important, don't get me wrong.  But heart disease tends to be a more silent and less discussed illness in women.  And it shouldn't be, not when it's the #1 killer of American women.

My grandmother died from a massive heart attack nine years ago, just days before 9/11.  I still remember getting the phone call, late in the evening, and just sitting there in shock.  Brainiac was not even a year old and she, as well as any future children we would have, would never know what an amazing woman my gramma was.  They wouldn't know her infectious giggle, her wonderful food, her funny songs and stories, at least not from the true source.  Ever since then, I've been more conscientious about what I put into my body and how I take care of myself.  I try to eat healthy and I try to be active so that I can carry on my gramma's legacy and pass on her stories.  So please, take care of your heart--eat healthy, exercise, get regular check-ups.  And every time you wear red, please think of those who have been lost to heart disease.

In a terrible transition, now I will talk about green and why I will probably have a heart attack this weekend.  My boys, the Green Bay Packers, are playing in the Super Bowl.  If that's the first you've heard that, you need to get out more.  But really, I take my football very seriously.  I grew up in a football loving family and I've always been a huge fan of the sport.  In high school I was a football cheerleader and when Full Man Grown and I started dating, I started him on the love of the sport.  I watch or listen to every Packer game, the whole family will be decked out in shirts and hats, and if the game is a close one, I'm usually hoarse by the end of it from yelling at the tv.  Yep, I love them.  And they're in the Super Bowl, Baby!  So please cheer for my boys this weekend.  We'd all appreciate it.

Improvisation

Sometimes, I think one of the best skills to possess in life--especially as a parent-- is the skill to improvise.  When we are parents, nothing goes the way it's supposed to all the time.  I'd even go so far as to say it never hardly ever goes the way it's supposed to, whether we're talking a meal or an art project or a vacation.  It's a simple fact of life.  Sometimes things go horribly wrong, sometimes the wrong is so tiny we're the only one that even realizes it.  But we must all be flexible and be willing to improvise when the time arises.

Like this morning, for example.  This is one of the small wrongs/improvisations that I think only a parent can really appreciate.  Scrat was upstairs getting dressed for the day.  She was singing along, picking out her clothes and having a grand time.  Then the singing stopped, I heard a few groans, and she came stomping down the stairs.

"Mommy, I need you to help me."  She was holding her pants in her hand, so I assumed she needed help with the button.

"What's up, kiddo?"  I was checking FaceBook and having some funny banter with a girlfriend on her status update.  This girlfriend is in Germany so I seldom get to actually "chat" with her.  It was important and stuff.

Scrat proceeded to pull down her underwear and throw them at me.  "That tag is all itchy.  Can you cut it off please?!"

Now, Scrat really dislikes when underwear have an actual tag instead of the screen-printed labelling.  Not only did this new pair (which I didn't buy her--I know better) have a real tag, but this tag is in the side seam.  For Scrat, this is a HUGE deal and one of her biggest issues when it comes to clothes.  She simply cannot stand the side-seam tags on her underwear and has even been known to throw them away if I don't cut off the tag in time. 

Here's another thing about parenting--nothing is ever in it's place when you need it.  I have a pair of scissors that are not to leave my desk drawer.  So I grabbed the underwear, opened the drawer and...Nada.  Nothing.  No scissors.  I moved everything around in the drawer and on my desktop.  Nope, no scissors.  Then I remembered that Picasso had asked to use them the night before and apparently she'd forgotten to put them back.  Well, she was now at school so I couldn't ask her where they were.  I could have gotten up and gone to the kitchen for another pair of scissors, or even a knife.  But honestly, I didn't want to.  I was pulling a lazy.  But I still got the tag off.  With what you ask?

The tape dispenser.  Oh yes I did.  I sawed at the tag with the cutting edge of the tape dispenser and in about 5 seconds it was gone.  I proudly handed over the Tinkerbell underwear, put the tape back in the drawer where it belongs for future use, and continued my FaceBook banter without a blink of the eye.  That, my friends, is Improvisation.

Shopping is not easy

We live on a small hobby farm in the middle of nowhere.  Honestly, we're waaaay out there.  The nearest major store is Wal-Mart, and it's 35 miles.  The nearest big city is over an hour and a half away.  Our entire county has only 3 stoplights.  I'm telling you--Middle of Nowhere.  But we love it.  We love that we're off the beaten path, we know our neighbors (who may live over a mile away), we can go for walks or horseback rides and everyone waves at us, and the people in town know us by name.  It's great...unless you need to go shopping.

Last week, I needed to go shopping.  Bad.  Like 25+ items on the list.  We needed everything from bread and eggs to laundry detergent, with a little of everything in between.  Now usually, I do my weekly fresh shopping at our small grocery store in town.  That's where I get our bread, eggs, produce and anything that looks good in the sales ad or that I need in a pinch.  Our milk and cheese we buy right from the local dairy co-op's store.  When I have a large list, I go to Wal-Mart every 3 weeks or so.  But every so often, we make a run into the big city for Sam's Club.  This was one of those times.

Scrat and I left home as soon as Brainiac and Picaso got on the school bus and we arrived at Sam's just 5 minutes after they opened.  I grabbed one of their gigantic carts, reminded Scrat to stay right next to me and away we went.  Cereal, tuna, tampons, Ibuprofen, hot chocolate mix, crackers, laundry detergent, garbage bags, frozen vegetables...you name it, it was probably in our cart.  It was heaping and I kept having to shove stuff in.  I spent over $300.  I told you we were out or low on almost everything.  It was crazy.  And then, since it's Sam's and they don't do bags, I had to find room for everything and didn't I tell you?  We drove the truck because that's our family vehicle right now.  Oh, and it was 15 degrees out.  So I buckled Scrat into her seat, then froze my butt off trying to get everything into the rest of the backseat or in the cooler in the truck bed.  (Side note #1--we need to get a cover for the truck bed just like Full Man Grown wants.  Now.)

Please tell me I'm not the only one to do this.  I can't be the only mom/wife that lets her list get so crazy long and out of control.  It doesn't happen all the time, but I was kicking myself so bad with everything I had to precariously perch on top of the cart.  Sure, we still make periodical trips to Sam's if we're in the city but this trip was just plain insane.

Sometimes, discipline hurts Mom more

Every Wednesday, we go to the local library for story time.  I don't have extra kids that day, so it's something that Scrat and I get to do without her having to share Mom's attention with her sisters or the daycare kids.  She loves listening to the books and dancing with her friends, then getting to play in the kids area before picking out a couple books to take home.  And I look forward to it because it gets me out of the house and also allows me to visit with some of my girlfriends who also bring their kids to story time.  It's win-win.

This past Wednesday, no one won anything.  Scrat was having a decent morning until we decided it was time to get dressed.  She was already wearing a green leopard print skirt, an orange Halloween Kitty shirt and a Christmas sweater--which we'd agreed she could wear until it was time to leave.  Then she had to put on pants because it was cold out.  That's when it started, when it was time to put on her pants.  First, she complained the pants were too long.  Then she didn't think the shirt matched or was pretty on her.  What followed was a half-naked child pounding on my arm, sobbing, yelling, "I want to go to STORY TIME!" 

Needless to say, we didn't go to story time.  I had told Scrat that if she continued to hit and yell at Mommy, we weren't going.  She did, so we didn't.  Let me tell you, it was so hard to stick to my word.  I wanted to go to story time just as badly as she did...and she didn't even know that we were invited to a friend's house afterwards for lunch and a sledding party.  See?  So badly wanted to just give in and take her to story time for my own adult mind as much as hers.  But I didn't.  I couldn't.  I knew that I had to stick to my guns and follow through with what I said--"If you continue this behavior, we will not go to story time." 

Thankfully, Scrat doesn't do this often.  She's very active and funny and a little crazy, but she seldom has temper tantrums and never has she had one to this level.  And I know that she was overly tired because we were out later than normal the night before.  But still.  I had to stick to my guns.  I couldn't give in and just act like nothing happened...or give empty threats...no matter how badly I wanted to.

If it's good enough for breakfast...

As a mom and wife, there are many things I enjoy doing for my family.  One of those things that I enjoy, even love, is cooking.  I love playing with new recipes, tweaking old ones, or just throwing things together and seeing how it turns out.  Most of my meals are homemade or mostly so ( may use a can of cream soup ) and pretty high on the healthy/balanced meal scale.  However, there are times when I just don't have the energy, patience or anything else to prepare a meal--even a frozen pizza.  It doesn't happen often, maybe twice a month, but on those nights cooking is the last thing I want to even think about.  So what do I do when I have 3 kids and a Full Man Grown to feed?

"Kids, tonight's help yourself night!"  They love it and I get off scott free.  So what do they usually do?  Make a sandwich or have cereal or oatmeal.  I know it's not the best dinner ever, but if it's good enough for breakfast--the most important meal of the day--then it must be good enough for dinner a few times a month.

Last night was one of those nights.  Scrat was having a bad day, which translated to Mom having a bad day so I hadn't started anything for dinner.  The older girls came home from school with a headache and a bad attitude, respectively, and we had 1.5 hours between bus drop-off and having to be at practice for the church musical (which is a 15 min drive...unless you get stuck behind slow people on non-icy backroads.  Which, of course, I did.)  Full Man Grown was gone for the evening helping his dad at the farm, so I was on my own.  I told them to fend for themselves and our table looked like this:

Scrat: bowl of Cheerios and a yogurt.
Picasso: PB&J on wheat, string cheese and raisins
Brainiac: PB&honey on 1 piece of wheat and small bowl of blueberry oatmeal
Mom: left-overs from the night before (which was about 4 bites) and a rice krispie bar (don't judge)

The meal was nothing to be desired, but it was food and the kids made it themselves.  I used to really beat myself up about these nights.  Or days when the girls would want cereal for lunch and I'd let them because I just didn't feel like making something or was so busy I didn't have time for a regular meal.  But then I reasoned with myself--It's good enough for breakfast, so why can't it be good enough for any other meal?  And at least I'm feeding them!  They're still getting relatively healthy food options, with milk and the added confidence of doing it themselves.  So I relaxed a little.  And you can relax, too, if you have days or nights like this.  As long as it's not every day, it's okay.  And even if it is every day, at least you are giving them food, right?

How am I here?

Do you ever sit and wonder, "How did I get to where I am today? How am I old enough to have a husband, house, bills, 3 kids, all those adult responsibilities?" I'll admit that I think like that not often, but a few times a year maybe? Sometimes I think those thoughts during hard times, wondering how things can be like this and longing for the naivete and relative simplicity of the teen years. Other times, I think like this while things are good, wondering how I can be so lucky to have all that I do.

I'm not the only one who thinks this, right?  I know sometimes I don't feel I'm old enough to be my age, so maybe that's it.  Sometimes I do feel a little wistful of friends who have all the toys and money, but not the kids or house or responsibility.  Sometimes I feel like I'm 75 and have lived an entire lifetime.  But never do I wish that things were different.  Never do I wish that I didn't have the house, even when I'm scraping together the mortgage payment.  Never do I wish that I didn't have 3 kids, even when they are driving me CRAZY.  Never do I wish a minute apart from my husband, even if he's crabby and tired. 

But sometimes, I do wonder.  Where would I be right now if I hadn't taken my husband back, all those years ago, when we broke up in our late teens?  What would I be doing if I'd decided to go to the huge university I was accepted at instead of the smaller U, closer to home?  How would my life be changed had I made one decision differently than I did?

It's not good to dwell on the "what ifs" of life.  I know that.  But if we're all being honest with ourselves, we've all wondered.  On a bad day, we've maybe thought, "My life would be so different if I hadn't let X happen."  But on a good day, we've maybe thought, "I'm so glad that I did Y, because otherwise I wouldn't have Z."  It's normal and it's human to think like that.  So if you have thought these thoughts--it's okay!  It means that you are human and you realize that almost every decision you make can be life changing.  Sure, deciding to have the chicken sandwich instead of the cheeseburger may not be life changing.  But you never know...maybe that cheeseburger is made with contaminated beef.  Or the chicken is under-cooked and gives you salmonella.  You never know.  Just sayin'. 

So the next time you feel like "How am I here?"  Just think back on all you've been through, smile and be confident in the decisions you've made.  You're doing just fine.  And if something needs to change, know that you have the ability to change it.

Guest Post!

I love learning new ways to be frugal, healthy, active...all those things we strive for to make our lives easier and better.  One of the blogs that I follow is The Grocery Shrink.  Angela has wonderful ideas for living life on a budget but not skimping on life at the same time.  She recently allowed me to write a guest post about being active as a family without having it cost tons (or any) money.  You can read that post here.

Thanks so much, Angela!  I hope that at least one person is inspired by something that I shared!

Friends are part of the Family

This weekend, we went snowmobiling with some friends.  While warming up eating at a local restaurant, my best friend voiced those same thoughts.  She said, "How did I end up with such wonderful friends who know me like I've known them my entire life, when it's only been a few years?!"  Let me tell you, it made me love my BFF even more.  We've talked about it before, but it's so true.  She married a friend of ours who, at the time they met, was more an acquaintance than anything.  But over the years of their dating, we all became super close and she's now the one I go to for everything.  We finish each other's sentences, we've had our babies at the same times (not planned, either) we get together for everything and can talk for hours or sit in the silence with one another.  Our kids call eachothers' parents "Gramma and Grampa."  If we get together for something, we will automatically start helping the other with things like loading the dishwasher, emptying the grocery bags on the counter, changing the poopy diaper while she's in the middle of a phone call.  She is like a sister to me, and I to her (and we both have sisters).

I honestly don't know what I'd do without her.  I look back at High School and think how because I always did something with one friend, she was my best friend.  I never thought that I'd live far from her, or we'd grow apart.  But now that real life has set in, I realize that true friends are so much more than they were in school.  They are the ones who will step in to watch your kids while you go on vacation and expect nothing in return.  They are the ones who don't care that you show up and their house isn't perfect...and then don't feel bad when you start to help with what needs it.  They are the friend who will take your teary call at 6 am because the baby won't stop crying and you are at your wits end.  They are the friend who will laugh with you until the tears fall, usually over something completely ridiculous and stupid.  They are the friend who lets you put her make-up on her because she lost track of time and the rest of the company will be there in 5 minutes...and she's elbow deep in jalapeno poppers.  They are the friend who will do anything for you, and you will do anything for them.  They are the friend who you've only known for 10 years, but you feel like you've grown up together.

Friends like that are truly part of the family.  I hope you each have a friend who has touched your life in such a wonderful, important way.

Sometimes I Yell

I know that I shouldn't yell at my kids.  Every expert says that it's not effective and may damage my child's ego, sense of worth, yadda yadda yadda.  I agree with them, I do.  But sometimes...sometimes I yell.  I don't like it, I always feel bad after I do it, but sometimes it happens.  I'm human.  I'm not perfect. 

When does it happen?  Well, it usually is when I've asked them 564 four times to do something and they are still coloring or watching tv.  Or when they are arguing or back-talking about the most mundane things and have been for the last 3 minutes.  That's usually what my triggers are.  I hate it, but sometimes I yell.  It gets their attention but I know that it's not the best way I can do that.  But I also know that I don't always yell.  Most times, I get their attention in some other way and it works.  But sometimes...

Now, I don't know what you're thinking, but I bet a good bunch of you are nodding your heads, saying it sounds like your house.  I decided when I started this blog that I would be honest with my imperfections--especially when it comes to parenting.  All too often, people put on the "perfect facade."  "I don't yell at my kids."  "My kids always listen."  "I always have fresh baked cookies and milk waiting, with my hair perfectly done and a gourmet meal from scratch cooking on the spotlessly clean stove."  If you are that person in all honesty--kudos!  But I'm willing to say that 99.9% of us moms are NOT that mom.  We do what we can to get by.  Some days it's more than others.  But our ultimate goal is to love, nurture and protect our children.  So sometimes I yell, but most times I don't.  My kids still know that I love them and would do anything for them.  I just occasionally do that really loudly. 

Sunday Afternoons

Yesterday was Sunday afternoon.  We had been gone all day on Saturday, not coming home until after 10 pm, and then we raced out the door for church first thing in the morning.  When we got home from church, there was a lot to be done.  The groceries I had bought on Saturday that didn't need refrigeration were still in bags on the counter, the dishwasher was clean and needed to be emptied so my sink could be emptied, the floors all needed a good pick up and vac, and I was informed that Picaso had no jeans for school on Monday.  I sat the little girls down for a quick lunch (Brainiac was at a basketball clinic) while I put the groceries away.  Then we all went to work on the dishes (Scrat & Picaso unload, I load) before they settled for a nap.  I took the baskets of dirty laundry down to the laundry room, started a load of jeans and then came up to start on the floors. 

That's when I heard it.  It was quiet at first, but then got more demanding.  I searched for the source and found it on the coffee table...My book was calling my name.  I really debated if I should sit down.  I had a lot to do, but none of it HAD to be done right then or even that day.  I decided that I could sit and read for awhile.  I snuggled up with a blanket on our super comfy sectional and read.  For 2.5 hours!  I couldn't believe it when the girls finally woke from their naps (remember, we were out late so they were tired!) and I saw it was after 4:00.  I should have felt guilty, I should have immediately hopped up and started doing things, but I didn't.  I helped the girls to a snack and then sat down to read for another hour.

It was bliss I tell you!  I know there are a lot of other things I should could have been doing.  But I took care of me instead.  Sometimes, we have to do that as a mom.  Sure, today I still have floors that need help and some laundry to get done.  But yesterday afternoon felt fantastic.  If you ask me, it's the best way to spend a Sunday afternoon.  You should try it.

Checking Out

For the last few days, I checked out of the real world.  I laid in bed, slept for hours and hours, and did absolutely nothing constructive.  Now, I wish I could say I was on vacation and that's how I chose to spend it.  Unfortunately, that's not the case.  The real story is that I woke up on Sunday with some sciatic pain that lasted all day.  By Monday morning the pain was gone, but a dull headache had filled it's place.  By mid-day on Monday, it was a full-blown migraine.  It was my worst one yet, and it lasted into Tuesday as well.

I don't know if you have ever had a migraine, but they are the worst pain I can think of.  Hearing anything above a whisper is unbearable, any light makes you see spots, movement hurts, sitting or standing makes you dizzy, and your head pounds so hard that your stomach gets nauseous.  Yeah, they're that fun.  And then when it's finally over, the next day you feel better physically, but you are exhausted and weak and still in a bit of a fog--kinda like the day after the flu.  But even all that pain wasn't what hurt the worst.

So what did hurt worse than the excruciating migraine pain and effects?  Having to call my husband home from work to watch the kids.  Having to miss Picaso and Scrat's first swimming lesson--ever--that we were all so excited about.  Having to rely on my mother to transport Brainiac to basketball since it was at the same time as swimming.  Having to tell my kids that I couldn't hug or kiss them goodnight and they could only very lightly kiss my cheek.

It killed me to do or miss all of those things and have to pass the buck to other people.  I hated every second of laying there, basically in and out of consciousness, having to rely on other people to do what I should have been doing.  But if I've learned anything as a mom, it's that sometimes, I truly can't do it all.  Sometimes I have to turn to family and friends to help me out.  I may not like it, but it does make things better for me.  So hopefully you, too, have or will realize the same thing.  It's okay to ask for help when you need it.  It's not only okay, it may be the only chance you have to make it through.

Those Who Matter

I have been a mom for 10 years now.  Recently, our oldest daughter, Brainiac, celebrated her tenth birthday.  Our youngest daughter, Scrat, also recently celebrated a birthday.  We combined their "family and family friends" party into one and held it yesterday afternoon.  Everything went off just fine, but there were a few things that even just last year would have had me sweating bullets. What were they?

Nothing important.  Seriously, in the grand scheme of things these 2 or 3 imperfections were nothing important and yesterday, I took them as that.  But last year or 5 years ago, I would have been crying about them.  The difference?  I've honestly learned to live by the quote:

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind, don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind."

Yesterday, I didn't say or feel anything in particular.  But the second part of the quote was in my mind as I raced to finish up the cleaning and the baking, and fretted that the frosting wasn't being cooperative on the darn beautiful butterfly cake.  See, we were gone all day Saturday at a family function and then had church yesterday morning, so I had about 3 hours between church and the party to finish everything up and bake a cake. 

"These people are our family and friends.  They will not care about the dog-nose prints still on the window, or that the floor was only swept, not mopped.  And if they do care...that's their problem."

I'm telling you, if you can honestly feel this and live it, it's absolutely freeing!  My stress about yesterday's party was so low, even with 30 people in my house, nose prints on the window and frosting that wasn't perfectly smooth.  We all had a great time and no one mentioned anything.  As a matter of fact, Scrat told me that the cake was "Perfect!  Mommy, it's so beufiful!" I think that's all I need.

15 minutes is a looong time

Have you ever noticed how time is one of those "relative" things?  Five minutes spent doing your favorite activity seems to go by so quickly, but 5 minutes spent waiting for test results or the phone to ring seems like an eternity.  Ten minutes of snuggle time with your spouse or kids cannot last long enough, but 10 minutes being stuck in traffic seems to take hours.  Well, then what does 15 minutes of doing something you really don't like to do feel like?

A very looong time.  But what I've also realized in the last week is that it's also longer than you think.  Now when you read that back, I know it won't make sense but hopefully, I can help with that.  One goal that I haven't mentioned on here is that I plan on spending just 15 minutes each day in a room to tidy it up.  That 15 minutes will be uninterrupted and dedicated to just that room.  So if it's the kitchen, I will only stay in the kitchen and do only kitchen things like unloading the dishwasher, sweeping the floor, washing the table, cleaning the counter off, etc.  When you say "I'm only going to spend 15 minutes" it doesn't sound like very long.  But then when you spend that dedicated time limit, it seems like forever until the timer goes off and you get so much more accomplished than what you originally thought.  So does that help explain how it's both longer than you think and yet still forever?

I used to scoff at people who did this.  I have 3 children, I take care of other peoples' kids, I don't have 15 minutes to spend in one time chunk.  But you know what?  I do.  If I'm working on the kitchen, I set the kids at the table for snack or with coloring books.  If I'm doing another room, I wait until nap-time.  I make myself spend that 15 minutes, but then I do what I want during the rest of the nap--check FaceBook, blogs, e-mail, read my book.  It's a compromise.  And I hate to admit it (because it was originally my husband's idea) but it does work. 

So if you're looking for a way to find time to clean but not take forever, try this plan.  Fifteen minutes isn't a long time when you do it after the kids are in bed, or while they do their homework.  But that 15 minutes will do wonders around your house to help keep it looking presentable and neat between the big, deep cleanings.  Good luck!

*FYI My schedule is Monday: kitchen, Tuesday: family room, Wednesday: bathrooms, Thursday: kitchen, Friday: living room, Saturday or Sunday: kitchen.  I do a load of dishes every day and still do some daily tidying, but this is really helping me to keep things neater around the house.

Goals for the Home

I love The Nester and today, she's having a linky party about the various goals we have for our homes in 2011.  I wrote a post just the other day about goals I have for self-improvement.  But today, it's all about the house and the things that make it a home.

We bought our house 6 years ago and immediately set to work updating it from the original decor from when it was built.  In 1979.  There was wallpaper everywhere, orange shag carpet, worn linoleum and ghastly light fixtures.  We got a lot of comments about seeing the beauty under the beast, if you know what I mean.  In the past 6 years we've come a long way and in 2011 I hope to continue that progress by:

* Replacing the carpet in our family room.  Unfortunately this is not the orange shag, but it is a carpet in off-white that was stained beyond repair when we moved in.  At the time, we had a 4 year old, a newborn, 2 dogs and a cat.  Unfortunately, this carpet was going to stay for awhile.  Now, the time has come to get rid of it.  The family room is a long, narrow, rectangular room and I've convinced the Full Man Grown that it wouldn't cost an arm and a leg to replace it like he thinks.  Some time this year, the goal is to find the carpet that speaks to me (he won't agree to hardwood floors) and replace it. 

This is an old pic and most everything in this room has changed, but you get the idea.  Oh, and ignore the arrow, shall we?

* And while we have the family room carpet torn up, I'd also like to re-sheet the walls and tear out a full wall of built-ins.  So I guess you could combine the two and say Remodel the family room.  Like I mentioned above, the entire house was covered in wall-paper.  Well, when we removed the wall-paper from the family room it didn't always want to let go.  And sometimes it took chunks of drywall with the paper, or it left very old and crusty glue on the wall, or it just marked the wall from being on there for so long.  We were so impatient to just get in the house that we removed it all "good enough," painted over what was left and that was that.  As for the built-ins, the wall they cover is the very end of the long, skinny room.  It 100% dominates the area and makes for only one option in furniture and all other types of arranging.  I'm done with it.  Thankfully, the Full Man Grown is a very handy sort and will be able to do all that himself with a handful of friends.  I can. not. wait.

* Full Man Grown put flooring down 3 years ago to get rid of the horrendous linoleum in our kitchen and dining area.  We still don't have trim (such is the life of living with a carpenter--my projects are never done).  The goal this year is to finish and install the trim.

Anything else that gets accomplished is fantastical and above and beyond the call of duty!

Chicken Pot Pie and Homemade Chicken Stock

I love to cook and I love being in the kitchen.  That's not a big secret at all if you know me.  I'm always trying new recipes, tweaking old ones, and finding different ways to present the same old things.  Most things I make are made from scratch or from a few staples I can buy at the store (like creamed soups, pasta, etc)  Personally, I never buy foods like Hamburger Helper.  But remember--I'm not perfect.  My kids do love their Kraft Mac-N-Cheese and I buy canned soups, but I keep these for times when I just don't have the time or energy to make homemade.  I don't buy all organic or make everything from complete scratch; I honestly don't have the time, money or patience for all of that.  But I do try to make hearty meals that are as healthy and as natural as I can make them with my time and money limitations.  Don't get me wrong, there are nights that the kids have cereal and an apple for dinner, or we all scarf down 2 frozen Tombstones and a bag of chips.  But those days are thankfully few and far between, balanced out with good meals that I'll be sharing with you often.  I'll also be sharing some tips on great kitchen staples to keep on hand for just about any meal.

Right now, I'm in the middle of preparing a family favorite--Chicken Pot Pie.  I pulled boneless, skinless chicken breasts from the freezer this morning and set them to thaw in some cold water.  By noon, they were about halfway thawed so I put them in water to boil on the stove.  This is the same way I do it every time, but this time I decided to try my hand at making chicken stock as well.  So along with my chicken breasts, I also added oregano, thyme, rosemary, garlic, onion and black pepper.  I simmered them for about an hour, then removed the chicken and added some diced potatoes and frozen mixed vegetables.  After about 10 minutes, I strained out the veggies and preserved the liquid, which is now cooling in my fridge, waiting for me to skim the fat and then freeze it in ice cube trays for easy use.  I've never done it before, but I hope it works and tastes good.  It sure smelled good.

Anyway, back to the Pot-Pie.  I guess it's not what you'd call a traditional pot-pie as I'll fill you in on a little secret--I don't like pie and it's 100% because of the crust.  Can't stand the stuff.  So when I say pot-pie, I really mean it's more like a chicken and veggie casserole with a bread-like topping.  What I do is cook a few chicken breasts (read above) and then shred or dice them.  I mix them with any veggies I have on hand or a bag of frozen mixed vegetables (cooked al dente), and then a can of cream of chicken soup (I usually use either the reduced fat or sodium variety) mixed with 1/2 cup chicken liquid.  I bake this for about 20 minutes at 400 degrees, then top with either canned biscuits, 1 cup Bisquick + 1/2 cup milk + 1 egg, or some other similar mixture, and bake for another 15 minutes or until the breading on top is golden brown.  Sometimes I put it as one big pot-pie in a casserole dish, other times I divide them into individual pies.  This is a simple, decently healthy, and very yummy meal that everyone here loves

New Year's Resolutions

I don't generally make New Year's resolutions.  Instead, I like to reflect back on the year that just ended and decide where I need some improvement.  And if I'm being honest, there are usually a lot of places where I could use a magic wand or 6.  I then take those areas and set goals for myself that I hope to accomplish in the new year.  Sometimes I meet these goals, sometimes I exceed these goals, and sometimes they fall to the wayside to be forgotten until the next year, when I realize I still haven't touched that certain aspect of my life but it still needs work.

This year, my goals are things that I truly hope are attainable, though at times I think they are complete pipe dreams.  In no particular order:

*I want to be more patient with my children.  Having 3 girls (one of them a pre-teen), there is a lot of drama in this house and some days, it's all I can do to not blow my top completely.  I am often looking back on my day, thinking "Did that really have to go down that way?" or "How could I have handled that better?"  I know it's something every parent deals with and I'm sure I'll be asking for advice and support to help me with this particular goal further down the road.

*I want to worry less, especially about finances and money.  A side goal to this would probably be I want to get a better handle on our finances.  Now, I'm not saying our money and spending is out of control, we're near bankruptcy, or anything like that.  But I am saying that we live paycheck to paycheck more often than I like, our bank balance is sometimes much too small and there have been times I've been in tears wondering how we'll pay the bills.  But it always works out, things always get paid, people always get fed, and we have many things that are for comfort--not necessity--that could still be cut out of the monthly budget if need be.  I'll be talking about the various aspects of this goal throughout the year as well.

*I want to be more efficient.  I tend to be somewhat like the "If you Give a Mouse a Cookie" books.  I don't think I'd go so far as to say I have ADD, but I am always so busy that I sometimes meet myself coming when I'm going.  I need to be better about planning my time, my tasks and my days so that I can accomplish things fully, instead of just part of the way before I start something else.

Those are my top 3 goals, though I have other smaller goals as well--like learning to sew and knit.  So how about you?  What are your goals for 2011?

Here's to 2011

Hello! I played around with the idea of starting a blog way back in July. I set up the template, I worked with some things, and then life got in the way. Don't you hate when that happens?! But I've decided that with the new year, I will give this blogging thing a try. It won't be perfect, but it will hopefully be fun, entertaining, helpful, and honest.

Who am I?
I am an Imperfect Momma to 3 girls--Brainiac, Picaso and Scrat. I'm also an imperfect wife to my husband, or Full Man Grown. We live on a small hobby farm in the middle of nowhere. I know I'm not perfect, and I no longer strive to be because I've finally realized that no one is, or can be, perfect. We all have our faults and flaws, and those are as big a part of us as our attributes and talents. We all have room for improvement and growth. I am not preaching to anyone about how they can be perfect, how I am perfect, or how what I do or say is perfect. But if I can help you with what I say or do, than we're both better off in the end. If not, we keep plugging and being and doing.

What is my blog about?
This blog is going to be about life, especially life as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend...all those roles women play. I'll talk about parenting, cooking, cleaning, money, health, fun things, not so fun things--all the things women naturally talk about when they get together anyway.

I hope that you'll join me on this journey. I'm going to try to post several times a week, but again, there are no guarantees because I'm not perfect and sometimes, life gets busy. But bear with me. And if you like what we do here, please comment on the posts and share my link with your family and friends.